Actually There
by poyntersally
Summary: First season. Right after Chuck leaves for Monaco. Nate and Blair have a falling out, but can Blair heal as quickly as she usually does? Did Nate take it too far this time?


Blair sat there staring at her cell phone.

Monaco?

What was Chuck doing in Monaco? How could he just pick up and leave? She needed to talk to him. There were so many things he needed to hear her say; she needed to explain everything that happened that night. She needed to be in his arms again. Blair had been dating Nate forever. She had assumed that they loved each other. She had assumed that their first time would be spectacular. Blair Waldorf had never been the first to admit she was wrong, but then again she had never turned down a challenge.

Blair couldn't remember how many times she had texted Chuck. She could easily recall how many texts she had received from him though, none. Why was Chuck suddenly avoiding her? Maybe he was just playing her. Tears welled up in her eyes when Blair thought of Chuck just using her. She could see herself lying motionless in Chuck's lap, his own little rag doll for his own little pleasure. Chuck Bass was scum, but Blair couldn't get him off her mind. He was the first to caress her thighs. He was the first to pleasure her that way. His mouth muffled her screams of ecstasy. She urged him on as he thrust into her again and again. More over, she begged him to make love to her a second time. Chuck had to care for her. There wasn't any other option.

Chuck felt his phone vibrate once again. She really needed to stop texting him. Chuck pulled out his phone and started to sort through the different menu screens. Finally he found it, Blair Waldorf's number. He knew it by heart, but finding it in his phone's rolodex felt more impersonal. The phone rang once. Blair's exasperated voice was heard on the other end.

"How could you?" Chuck scoffed.

"Blair you really want me to answer that. The real question should be how could you?" Chuck waited for an answer. He heard Blair choke up and resisted the urge to ease up. He needed answers. She couldn't play with his emotions like that. Blair took a deep breath.

"My heart belongs to you Chuck you have to believe that."

"How can I? You fucked my best friend." Chuck couldn't believe it, tears were welling up in his eyes. He held them back, and let Blair explain.

"Chuck. I'm sorry, I never should have let it go as far as it did. But I didn't want it to happen. I wanted him to stop, but he just kept going." Blair sobbed into the phone. She needed to collapse.

"Wait, Blair, you told him to stop?" Blair nodded, and for some reason Chuck knew. Chuck heard the dial tone. Blair had hung up. Chuck got up from his seat and started packing his bags.

He arrived in the upper east side faster than expected. He headed straight to the Waldorf's. Mrs. Waldorf was in Venice getting inspiration for her new line, and Blair's father hadn't arrived for the Christmas holidays yet. Blair was alone. Chuck hurried to her room, and found her lying on her floor, sobbing. Chuck hurried to her, and held her in his arms. Blair was unresponsive to his touch; she just kept crying. Tears were once again forming in Chuck's eyes, only this time he let them fall freely.

Blair cried into his shoulder for what seemed like hours. Finally she lifted her head up to look into his eyes.

"You're actually here?"

"Yes. I love you Blair." Blair sat up and lunged towards Chuck. Before he knew it, his mouth was entwined with hers, and his hands were entangled in her hair. Blair began to unbutton his shirt, and he saw no harm in it. Blair took off her blouse and started to unclip her bra. Chuck stopped her.

"What? This is all you want isn't it? It's all he wanted."

"Blair stop." Blair took off her bra. She brought Chuck's face to her breasts, and Chuck couldn't help but show his appreciation for Blair. He had finally figured it out, the reason why he didn't feel the need to dominate in bed. He appreciated Blair; he respected Blair. Chuck snapped out of his thoughts when Blair started to unzip his pants.

"Blair, you don't want to do this. Stop."

"What? Am I not good enough for you, now that I am damaged goods? Now that you know I'm not only yours, you won't have me?"

"Blair, we can't do this because I love you, and this isn't what you really want right now."

Blair was taken aback. He knew her so well. Why hadn't she noticed him before? Why hadn't she noticed him before it was too late? Chuck took hold of her hand. He laced his fingers with hers. He brought her forehead to his sweet pink lips, and planted a small kiss. Blair began to cry again.

"I told him to stop, but he didn't. He wouldn't. He just kept thrusting. He hurt me." Chuck's heart was already broken into a million little pieces. With every little sickening thing that Blair sad, one of those pieces fell into his stomach. Chuck wanted to throw up.

"Blair. I'm sorry." Chuck couldn't help be feel responsible.

"Don't blame yourself. What did you do?"

"I left; I didn't trust you. I..."

"You loved me. You loved me." Blair started crying again. On her night stand her phone started ringing. Chuck grabbed it and saw who was calling, Nate. he put the phone back down.

"Who is it?"

"That's not important. Have you eaten anything today?" Blair shook her head. Chuck got up, and grabbed Blair's hand. He lead her into the Kitchen and started digging out the pots and pans. He found eggs and bacon, along with onions, cheese, tomatoes, and spinach. He grabbed a mixing bowl and started making Blair his signature omelet, only without the hangover remedy. Blair sat down at her favorite stool.

"You are in for a treat because today you are going to experience the fabulous Chuck Bass omelet. Just sit back relax, and let the master work." Blair was happy to oblige. She didn't want to think right now. Every time she closed her eyes, she was brought back to that horrifying moment. Blair had never felt so powerless. Blair sat there and watched the virtuoso. She couldn't help but notice how much like her dad Chuck was. There was so much more to Chuck than Blair initially thought. He didn't need anyone. Sure, he needed daddy's trust fund, but he was independent.

Blair got up from her stool and wrapped her arms around Chuck's torso. She twisted her body so that she could plant a kiss on his cheek. He slowly moved so that his mouth was on hers, and they started to kiss passionately. Chuck caressed Blair's cheek, started to move down to her neck, finally to her collarbone when, Blair let out a sharp cry of pain. Chuck immediately stopped.

"Did I hurt you?" Chuck was worried. What did he do?

"No. you did nothing wrong. It's just, I felt Nate caressing my collarbone, if you could call it that. I panicked." Blair took a short breath. "Please Chuck, don't tell me that whenever we're together I will be reminded of him." Chuck stood with his hands in his pockets. He breathed a heavy sigh.

"I don't know. Blair, you have to believe me when I say that I will stop. I will always love you and respect you. I promise that I will never harm you." Blair shook her head. She knew. She knew that she was kissing Chuck, that Chuck was the one touching her. She knew she had no reason to be scared.

Her omelet was done. She sat down at the table, and Chuck slid in next to her. He started rubbing her lower back, and Blair was happy. She took hold of his hand and placed it in between them.

"Chuck." Blair started. Chuck stopped looking at her as a whole, and focused in on her face. "I don't know when we can make love again. I don't know if I'll be ready anytime soon." Chuck looked bewildered. Blair began to worry. Would Chuck stay around if he wasn't promised sex?

"Blair, you think that is important to me right now? Yes, I love you, and yes, I want to show you how much I love you every chance I get, but you can't expect me to expect that from you, not after what he did." Blair smiled. She was thankful that Chuck was okay with not having sex.

"Thank you." Chuck leaned his forehead onto Blair's. They sat together until they heard incoming footsteps.

Nate walked through the door. He was in his green sweater, the one that Blair gave him, and he was pained. It took him a second to realize that Chuck was with Blair.

"What are you doing here?" Blair was surprised that she had enough courage to talk to him.

"I thought that we could talk things out."

"I don't think so Nate. I learned last night that you don't listen when I talk." Nate looked as if Blair had just stabbed a knife in his heart.

"Blair, you are over reacting."

"Get out Nate."

"Blair."

"GET OUT! We're over Nate, there's no more pretending." Nate turned defeated.

"Blair, just let me explain." Chuck got up.

"She asked you to leave." Nate looked puzzled.

"What business is this of yours Chuck? I need to talk to my girlfriend."

"She's not your girlfriend."

"What?"

"You heard me Archibald. Now get out." Chuck took a step towards Nate. Nate took a step towards Chuck. Even though Chuck's step was just defensive, Nate's was bellicose.

"Why do you care so much Chuck?" Chuck took a deep breath. He closed his eyes and prepared for the blow.

"I love her."

"What? Excuse me?"

"Nate stop messing around. Please, just leave." Blair took a step towards the two of them.

"Stay out of this Blair." Nate shoved Blair out of the way. Chuck got back in his face.

"Don't touch her!" Nate punched Chuck.

"Nate!" Blair yelled from her spot on the floor. Nate was charging Chuck and kept punching him. Chuck had never been a good fighter, and frankly he was getting his ass kicked by Nate. Nate stopped suddenly and turned to Blair.

"So it was him. He was the reason you didn't bleed. I knew I wasn't the first, but him? You disgust me."

"I can say the same to you Nate. Please, leave." Nate turned towards the door. On his way out he spat on Chuck. Chuck was breathing heavily and trying to get up. Blair went to him. She slowly put her hand on his cheek. She took off her robe and placed it under his head. Chuck gave her a weak smile, and slowly closed his eyes.


End file.
